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Archive for July 8, 2020

Farewell to Dr. Syed Fasihuddin – 7


Best things come in threes: best friend( & partner) , dreams and memories !

Fasih was with us in March for 2 weeks. Then the airlines shut down as the world went in extreme lock down. He went on to stay with us for 11 weeks, in strict lockdown. It was such a blessing in disguise. Just Fasih, Ismail and myself…Cooking our fav family meals, iftars, cuddling cats, bringing new potted plants as he loved gardening, playing ludo, video games with Ismail, occaisional squash, and daily walks of all three of us across wilderness in Mississauga. We made long drives across Ontario every few days. He would stop at every thing simple or surreal like horses grazing in cold wearing jackets, geeze crossing the road or even a raccoon coming close to our car fearlessly to snap pictures. He enjoyed every bit as we drove alternately. He loved driving, so I let him drive, while I clicked pictures.

I am gathering courage to share this:

A few days ago, after several nights I slept without Clonazepam, and he was there in full form and spirits in the dream.
He was driving as we saw some beautiful fall trees in yellow and red. He told me,
“Begum you drive now. I want to enjoy the scenes.”
I hope he is now in a happy place now and watching upon us.

Everyday I wake up disoriented, shake my head to feel maybe all this was just a bad dream I am waking up to. But it only gets real and more real each new morning.
As we go on with morning coffee, shower, remote meetings with staff at Taj, lunch, phone calls, everything seems to be returning to normal, with crying spells getting less frequent, tears drying up, and I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
What is the point of getting ‘sabr’ when Fatima, Ismail and I have everything but Fasih.

I dont want to trivialize others grief.
My husband’s older sister Syeda-Kosar who was his friend, a fellow proffessional doctor too, and most of all a confidante, is extremely depressed and misses him dearly.
My brothers HilmiSubhi and Ammi who cheer me up on phone that “Look how much of a footrint of goodness Fasih has left behind. People dont achieve half as much till their 90s which he did till 59, and quietly left the scene.”, I know cry after putting the phone down.
Its not easy for them and many others either.

And worst of all, its not yet over. I shudder with chills in my spine to imagine, who are next in line to be taken away? From us or from any one else we may not know.

Please keep safe. This virus is an apathetic killer, ruthless life-wrecker. Be very very careful.

Farewell to Dr. Syed Fasihuddin-6


COVID19 is not a mild virus. Its a ruthless destroyer. Those who havent felt it are either super lucky to not have been affected close to home or are simply covidiots.
It kills. It killed my dearest person, a strong sturdy man, in just 3 days. He never ever had even fever, and would climb 12 stories in one breath, without being breathless. There was no comorbidity.
It has killed my two first cousins in India. Finest of people. And three dearest doctor friends of my husband, just in the same month June.
And a few of the loved ones who have been sick and now surviving are going through a very debilitating post covid recovery.
Sometimes it feels as if COVID19 chose to come to us. But I know, it has turned many homes upside down. It has snatched may fine, sincere human beings from their loved ones.
The only ones who seam to survive and thrive are the evil leadership across the globe, who heartlessly pursue ‘open the economy’, ‘smart lockdown’, ‘herd immunity’ devils.

I want the architects of smart lock down in Pakistan @Asad_Umar, @ImranKhanPTI & @ArifAlvi to just spend one month taking vitals of #COVID19 patients in ER, each doing 8hr shifts. Just 30 days in ER.
Then I will ask if they like the mess and life threatening situation they have put the frontline doctors into by their herd immunity stunt.

As a doctor friend who messaged and shared this below asks: ” Covid is taking the finest people away. I haven’t seen a badmash dying of covid. Have you?”

And this includes many doctors too, who are simply paying the price of apathetic leadership and callous masses.

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