Blind to Bounds

Friday, 30 October, 2020
Dear Babloo,
Its Friday again.
And again I was there by your side at the grave, at the fateful time of 1:30 pm.
I shared a joke with your sister and her husband while at your side….that you would often tell me, ‘I was always lucky to get good and interested parosans but I still chose to get a partner from a thousand mile away.”.

Nadeem bhai noted and read names of the two parosans on either side of you.
I hope they are being good to you and but not too nosy.
But its okay even if they are. I hope you tell them only good things about me and not those fights and tantrums that are inevitable part of the life of any happy couple. I can bet you, none of these parosans can make better bihari kababs and cheesecakes than I do. Hey, don’t you try to share my recipes with these ‘interested’ parosans.
I haven’t cooked any of these since you’ve gone, anyways.

Ignore them if they watch Indian dramas, which I think they must be as they are from Karachi. You don’t watch any episode okay? Because they can be addicting.
Oops, I am just kidding. I just want you to be happy and not miss us and Taj, my dear, even if that means watching Indian soaps.

But on a serious note, better still if you stay close to your Amma, Abba and my Papa. That will be a better intellectual company. Your Papa and you can discuss the recent advances in Pulmonology, and even about the second wave of COVID, while my Papa can teach you better Urdu and update you about what’s latest in Trump Biden elections.
And at dinner time you can all sit together and have the musallams and qormas your Amma makes.
And I am sure you must be sharing your Ammas cooking with your neighbors.
Its okay. But no, don’t share my recipes. Just tell them my wife made world’s most delicious cheesecake, like you told people here. Let them feel inadequate without those recipes.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry?
But I was glad I had a stronger heart today to joke about you to Nadeem bhai and Kosar Baji.

I am sure you must be the most loved and sought after person up there too. Should I feel left out and jealous by imagining that?
I am not sure.
One part of me says I miss you, the other part wants to be selfless and imagine you are in such a happy place.

Jokes aside, I want you to know that your staff misses you a lot. They all miss your presence in every meeting and happy occasion. They remember how you took your bossy garb off in such fun events, and became one of them, only to come back next morning roaring like a dangerous boss.
One of your staff who got the most scolding, I had a private talk with her one day.
I asked her “I hope you have no bad feelings towards Fasih?”
She started crying and told me, “Mam his scoldings have changed me into a better and serious person.
Today I have a good career only because of him. How can I have any negative feelings for him.”

So many people come or call every day to tell me how much you impacted their lives.
They all pray for your highest place in the heavens. I am sure with so many blessings and prayers, you must be in a wonderful place far beyond our imagination.
It gives me peace to imagine you are happier and at a more blessed than you were here.

And yes, I was just kidding. I am not envious of any good parosans you have.
You can even share my bihari kabab and cheese cake recipes.
I won’t be petty. But haan, do tell them, “my wife has a big heart. This is HER RECIPE. And she is not petty not to share them”. Do put in a good word for me.
These wimmens I know will still not be able to make the kababs and cakes as delicious as mine.
Love you,
Ilmana