Blind to Bounds

Learning to ‘Agree to Disagree’

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.(~Gandhi)

I bet Gandhi said this with me in his mind.

I have yet to find a person with whom I have a total agreement on all issues. No one ever does. The probability of such a person existing may be theoretically possible (though extremely miniscule) but practically, it is IMPOSSIBLE.

I have a family with Hubs and two kids. And an extended family with sibs, parents and in-laws. And then a huge set of real and virtual friends. We all seem to be disagreeing with each other, more than agreeing, on most of the issues.

Many a times I stand alone in disagreement with almost everyone else on the other side.
So what?

Diametrically varying views lead to differences. Differences beget disagreements. Disagreements lead to debates. Debates stretch to hot discussions. Discussions at times lead to dissensions. Dissensions lead to verbal dogfights. Dogfights end up in a drain of energy. Drain of energy for sure.

Gosh! Despite all this, there is a great thrill in differing—agreeing on everything itsy bitsy, tiny miny would be so boring.

Calling other’s opinion ‘wrong’, ‘ignorance’ , ‘denial’, ‘silly’ could be part of humor but if hurled seriously as allegations is just bigotry at its best.

One learns more from the differences than from agreements.( Reference: Gandhi’s above quote!).

What is important is to give due respect and credibility to other’s opinions too. And the debate should be for putting one’s point across instead of the attempt to make others agree to one’s perspective. To be able to get other’s perspective without necessarily agreeing to it is an art one learns through studying ‘logic’.

When certain issues or topics hold a passionate place in one’s heart and mind, it gets even more difficult to maintain ‘sanity’ in discussion. Not being afraid of registering one’s opinion -no matter how ‘odd’ it appears -to the general public around, definitely breeds doubts of ‘cynicism’, ‘eccentricity’ in other’s minds.

But to accept other person’s insanity as normal is an art too.

I have seen this art beautifully put in practice by my exceptionally tolerant husband. The concept of giving a ‘space’ to the other person and to agree to disagree– are two lessons I learned from him. And in fact, keep forgetting and keep relearning them, even till date.

I have tremendous respect for him and for almost everyone else who still consider me ‘worthy’ of a place in their friends list, despite my insane discussions on disagreements.

So notorious are my disagreements that hubs often jokes about my ‘sanity’ if I agree to anything wholeheartedly.

Tell you a secret, even I don’t feel ‘myself ‘ if I get to agree with others viewpoint easily.

Disagreements rock!