Women | Blind to Bounds

Open up your mind and your potential reaches infinity…

Archive for the ‘Women’ Category

WITH HOSNI WILL SUZANNE LEAVE TOO?

Mrs. Suzanne Mubarak, affectionately known as “Mama Suzanne” throughout Egypt.
Mubarak is a champion for the rights of children and women. She works to eradicate illiteracy in her country, supports health initiatives for mothers and children, and is a strong advocate of equal education opportunity for all boys and girls in Egypt.
She received a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science and a Master’s degree in Sociology of Education. For the Master’s degree, her topic of study was “Social Action Research in Urban Egypt: A Case of Primary School Upgrading in Bulaq.”
Mrs. Mubarak understands the power of communication and education in changing the world and serves as a patron of the children’s television series, Alam Simsim, Egypt’s version of the American series, Sesame Street. She affects positive change in her country, boosting literacy rates in Egypt and preparing young children for school, particularly young women. Mubarak supports this program because “Alam Simsim is intelligent children’s programming that can instill certain ideas and values that are indispensable in today’s world.”
Suzanne Mubarak is the founder and president of EBBY, which is the Egyptian chapter of International Board on Books for Young People (IBBY). Mrs. Mubarak has arranged a campaign called Reading for All, which seeks to increase literacy by encouraging reading aloud to children. In addition, she has established portable libraries and published low cost books for children and adults.
Suzanne Mubarak is the technical advisor for the National Council for Motherhood and Childhood in Egypt. Some of the goals of the council include: the reinforcement of women’s roles in society, the study and resolution of problems confronting women, the improvement of women’s performance in society, the monitoring of education of children, and the establishment of a healthy environment for children.
The list of international awards that Mrs. Mubarak has received is long and includes:
*The International Tolerance Prize from the European Academy for Arts and Sciences,
*the Health for All Gold Medal from the World Health Organization in recognition for improving the quality of life for women and children,
* the Honorary Fulbright Award for commitment to education, and
*the International Book Committee,
* International Book Award for her work in promoting reading in Egypt.
*Making a Difference Award from iEARN, USA. iEARN is a non-profit global network that uses the Internet and technology to bring young people together for collaborative educational projects.

Excerpts from Community Heroes by Christian Walsh
http://myhero.com/go/hero.asp?hero=suzannemubarak

Category:

International, Politics, Social Issues, Women

HELICOPTER PARENTING-WHAT IS IT?

Exit: the generation of baby boomer parents.
Enter: the Generation X parents.

Being an offspring of a baby boomer parents, I grew up listening to stories from my parents of how different they were from their own parents—concerned and caring and proactively involved in their children’s upbringing. I had always noticed that majority of the parents of my mom-dad’s generation invaded into their children’s privacy and took decisions for them, including which profession to chose, who to marry and so on. (unless one was rarely lucky to have at least a Dad like mine, who was different enough to be called an exception to this the rule).In fact, the term called ‘personal space’ did not exist at least in our generation and especially in our society.

I had always presumed that we the parents of generation X were far more open and appropriately caring generation of parents , only until I came across a research from study by a researcher Neil Montgomery, a psychologist at Keene State College in New Hampshire. And then from a book called Millennials Go to College by authors Neil Howe and William Strauss. The book includes new data from surveys conducted of 1,000 college parents and 500 college students.

Gen X parents,the book claims, the generation after boomers, tend to be more protective and involved with their kids than boomers; 63% parents say they began planning for their kids’ college education in elementary school or earlier. Strauss says parents do this because they want accountability in light of rising tuitions.
“College has become a major investment, and you have to keep close tabs on it like you would any major investment,” says the author. “We tend to be a bit more of a helicopter parent because of it.”
HELICOPTER PARENT? I wondered as I read. So what is this new word? And I research on the net.

The word, helicopter parent, is the advent of early 21st century. It is a self-explanatory term that exemplifies the stock-in-trade of this type of parent:Hovering. Their children cannot move in any direction without the parent correcting, interfering, manipulating, or browbeating both their own children and everyone else who interacts with their children on a regular basis.
Helicopter parents are the bane of every coach’s existence. They hover over and interfere in nearly every aspect of their children’s lives. Teachers hate them, other parents avoid them, babysitters pay them lip-service but otherwise ignore them. Even pediatricians and Sunday school teachers have a hard time tolerating them.
Research reveals that among the gen X ,60% to 70% of parents are involved in some kind of helicoptering behaviour.

Various settings or places acknowledge the existence of this set of parents with a different yet appropriate nomenclature-

In Scandinavia, this phenomenon is known as ”curling parenthood” and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children.
Some call it is “overparenting”. Parents try to resolve their child’s problems, and try to stop them coming to harm by keeping them out of dangerous situations.
Another interesting term being ”Lawnmower parents” to describe mothers and fathers who attempt to smooth out and mow down all obstacles, to the extent that they may even attempt to interfere at their children’s workplaces, regarding salaries and promotions, after they have graduated from college and are supposedly living on their own.
As the children of “helicopter parents” graduate and move into the job market, bosses, managers, personnel and human resources departments are becoming acquainted with the phenomenon. Some have reported that parents have even begun intruding on salary negotiations.
An extension of the term, “Black Hawk parents”, has been coined for those who cross the line from a mere excess of zeal to unethical behavior, such as writing their children’s college admission essays.
The rise of the cell phone is often blamed for the explosion of helicopter parenting — it has been called “the world’s longest umbilical cord” . Experts say cellphones and other devices foster strong bonds in today’s smaller families-hence enabling the parents to ‘think’ that they keep tract of every movement of their child. Even the kids get so dependent that they call back to their mom’s cell be it in home or at work place, for slightest of a problem.
A sketch of a typical helicopter parent:The research suggests that most helicoptering is done by mothers who are hyper-involved with (usually) their sons’ lives( fathers are more likely to use strong-arm tactics to get results.).

Providing everything to the child at the bleakest of demands and not letting them learn by falling or making mistakes.
She buys all of his clothes, cleans his room and does his chores, such as making his bed, arranging his books and even laying the meal on the table and then calling him for it. If the child is really preoccupied in his studies she might even give him bites in his mouth..
She helps the child do all the homeworks perfect and then prepares all the tests in order for him to get the perfect grades. And goes to the extent that revises hsi entire syllabus with him a day before the exam so that he does not miss a mark in the exam.
Drops and drives the child to school or college and back in the car, so that he faces no hardships and delays on the way.
Decides for the child what subjects to choose and what university to go, upto the extent of getting the iniversity brochures and even filling up the forms on his behalf.
If the child sits in an exam—mom waits outside the exam hall all through praying he does well.
Pushing the kids into activities that the parents fancy without bothering to know if he likes it or not..
And at times even when it is time for the cuddly son to go for a work interview and she drives him to the interview and feeds all the way as to what terms and conditions he should demand from his prospective employer.
In a summary, to be constantly hovering 24×7 over their children from preschool to the workplace.
To put it in few words—dreams of the moms to make their kids into SUPERKIDS.
Having said so much about the moms—I still feel there do exist some helicopter dads too.
Why do parents become helicopter parents?
Helicopter parents claim that they indulge into their children’s lives because they want the best for them.
Some parents use overindulgence “as a guilt management tool,” say experts. “(Other) parents just can’t see why you would deprive a child.”
And then there are cases of parents who were not supported or well taken care of as children. As a result, when they become parents, they tend to overindulge in their children. They promise themselves that their children will have better lives than they did. “They don’t want to upset their kids by not giving them the things they want,”

Does helicopter parenting help?
People whose parents are “laissez-faire,” giving their children whatever they want, are the most unhappy.. They tend to have low self-esteem and feel unworthy.
Psychotherapists believe that parents love their children so much they can’t stand to see them in pain, but then that’s not love. A parent’s overindulgence can have other negative effects, as well.
The child of a Helicopter Parent learns that she is not responsible for her own actions. Mom is.
Consequently, the kid will grow up and not be mentally or physically tough enough to survive out in the world,
Students with helicopter parents tended to be less open to new ideas and actions, as well as more vulnerable, anxious and self-consciousness, among other factors, compared with their counterparts with more distant parents.
If parents step in too early in problem or social situations, the children do not have the opportunity to gain necessary social skills and survival skills that are normally acquired during adolescence.
Consequentially such children will not know how to be responsible and will have problems with authority.
The role of the parent is to prepare a child to make it in the world on their own. The research reveals that the children of “authoritative” parents – strong parents who allow children some bargaining power – are the most happy.
A good mom allows her children to make mistakes, to learn how to win and lose gracefully, and to develop constructive problem solving skills.
Parents have to be consistent and strong,” research claims, or else, “ children will never respect boundaries or discipline”.
the researcher recommends that the parents must constantly keep a check on their actions and think about what they are doing as they raise their children, and be aware that there is such a thing as ‘over-parenting’.
The researcher hopes his work leads to more research in the area, including large studies on different populations of children, such as high-school and middle-school students. Future studies will hopefully bring about a clearer picture of helicopter parenting.
A helicopter parent may have good intentions, but her interference could make her child’s life much more difficult in the long run.
All helicopter moms, kindly think….
(PS Baby boomer parents generation: parents born post WWII between 1940s and mid 60s.
Generation X parents: born from late 60 s to early 80 (upto 1982).)

IlmanaFasih
6 December 2010

Category:

General, Social Issues, Women

THE EGYPT OF MY LIFE

Yet another progressive Arab country bounces back to restore back it’s lost glory.

Indeed, none other than Egypt and the way it is adjacent to Tunisia, it looks like a domino effect has started not just in the metaphorical but the literal sense.
But to say that Egypt bounces back because of a common border with the Tunisia would a shameful underestimation of Egypt’s potential.

Along with Tunisia, it is one of the few Arab countires with a strong, ancient history and a history of cultural and liberal values far detached from the religious tag . Yes, Egypt probabaly would stand even ahead of Tunisia in that respect.
The situatuion gives me jitters and also butterflies in the stomach. Not because I have this appetite for international politics but because I have a special attachment to Egypt.

After India, Egypt has been living in my life, even more than Pakistan. Strangely though I have never lived in Egypt except for two visits for a fortnight each.

I woke up to this world with a name given to me by my Dad after being inspired by Egyptian names. His special love for Egypt was still fresh and alive in him when I was born. Just a couple of years ago had he returned from Egypt, after earning a PhD in Egyptian Liberal Nationalism and with Jamal Abdul Nasser his hero.

I grew up hearing his stories about Jamal Abdul Nasser, Egypt ‘s rich culture, their progressive intelligentsia, their sense of humour, the plays and most of all their music which was represented by none other than Umm Kulthum.

My dad who went to Egypt in the early sixties for a Phd, had gone there as a son of a maulvi (though he had been a rebellious communist too, in his early student life), but returned back some years later as a very progressive man with a wide horizon. He was in love with this place till the last moment of his life.

However when he returned to Egypt once again, in late eighties two things disappointed him terribly. He did get connected with all his old friends some of whom had gone ‘BIG’ in Egypt by then, one of them being the ex Secretay General of UN Boutros Boutros Ghali and Amr Moussa, the foreign Minister then. They all gathered together bringing back the youthful memories. Despite the 60’s era, he used to tell us that, he had a couple of girls too in his group of friends who hung around in the university together.

One of the two things that had disappointed him was the rise of Radicalism and that there were so many women now sporting Hijab and Niqab in the Cairo University. Though in the early sixties they could hardly see any.

And the second , which was no less disappointing to him, was that one of his extremely petite and pretty girl friends from the old group at that time, who was now the Head of the Political Science Department in the University, had gone at least four times as fat. They all joked about her and she too joined the hearty laugh without getting offended.

He was a very hurt man.

Egyptians have a terrific sense of humour, and if they don’t have any joke on politics, they laugh on themselves. But they make it a point to crack one joke a day –calling it a NUKTA. If anything it was their sense of humour my Dad carried back along with him on his return.

Anyhow coming to the point I wish to tell here that women have alwasy been very liberated and strong in Egypt since long. Not just in the few centuries but in the ancient Egypt 3000 years ago, too. The woman, in the pharoanic times some 2000-3000 years ago, was far more liberated than many women in the current world in 2011.

While most women, in the ancient Egypt, played traditional roles of wife and homemaker, they had many liberties and freedoms that were denied to women of other cultures in the ancient world. Married women were the complete governors of their household, husband seldom interfered in the domestic matters. Though they did all the domestic chores themselves.
Legally too they were equal to men in terms of rights and could take a loan of her own, ask for divorce, buy property in her name and even free slaves at her will. She was given third of her husband’s property on his demise. And could even remarry without any stigma. Divorce was not seen as stigma either.

There are records of women holding positions of Ministers to Pharoahs. Out of many, one most important name is Queen Hatshepsut :18th dynasty1473-1458 BC . She ruled in the early part of the ‘golden age of Egypt’ which includes other Pharoahs like Tutankhamoun, Nefertiti , Akhenton.

Needless to mention Queen Cleopatra and her stories of power not only on her Kingdom but also her control on her sweetheart–Mark Antonius was also an Egyptian Queen. Narrating about their story would need several blogs.

Women in ancient Egypt, rightly or wrongly, took great pains to ensure their physical attractiveness and even women among the poorer classes relied heavily on cosmetics and lotions to retain their youth and beauty.

After all this glory of women did spill over in the contemporary world too. Although the impact of religion did lead to segregation in schools. veiling etc. And with rise of Radicalism in the eighties it has gone worse.

I am not an expert on religion but have been told by my Egyptian friends that The MALKI SCHOOL which the Egyptian Muslims follow is pretty liberal. And they are far more progressive towards giving rights to women.The 1956 Constitution of Egypt was one of the most liberal on women’s right among the Arab and the Muslim World.

To be continued in next blog…..

Pardon me–got to leave.

Ilmana Fasih.

Category:

CULTURE, International, Politics, Women

WE LOVE HOT FOOD, HOT NEWS AND STARPLUS BUSS.

Since time immemorial we are known for our spices. The westerners – the Portuguese, the French, the British all came to Indian subcontinent not for the intentions to rule us , but on a look out for spices. India at that time was known as the ‘spice heaven’ of the world..

And till now, we have maintained out appetite for spicy food. A little less masala in the Biryani and we complain it wasn’t delicious. Infact, we refuse to eat it.
Same is the case with our appetite for Masala news. WE LOVE SPICY NEWS , RELISH IT, CHEW IT LONG IN OUR MOUTHS, AND EVEN REGURGITATE IT with blogs after blogs. But any boring bland news we just swallow it like my son does to the tasteless vegetables.

Human rights group called HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH, based in New York, way back in 1999 published a report that Pakistani women, 90% of them, are subjected to verbal, sexual, emotional, or physical abuse in their very homes. I remember seeing the news in various newspapers. But am sure it just went unnoticed–one, that not many have the habit to read, two, it didnt come as a dramatic news on the TV tagged with a celebrity announcing it.

Yes we are a nation who loves to watch TV too and we love dramas the most.

When our dramas became boring with loaded intellect of Sania, Marina, Samina like dull boring women, we switched to watching STARPLUS from India–because they are more spicy.

TO HELL WITH INTELLECT.

So right was Mehr Bukhari on a TV show just a day ago that, “We are intellectually bankrupt, and hence we want media or the starlets to take the lead in reformation of the society.”

How many of us remember the name of a faceless girl Amina on whom acid was thrown on her face by her husband in Karachi a couple of years ago and YES she too protested a great deal and came in the media and was evenhighlighted by I A REHMAN, the director of the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan.

But why should we?

Neither she was a starlet wearing sphagetti sleeves in front of a Mullah nor was IA Rehman a macho.

How many of us even can recognise the picture of Dr Shazia Khalid who was gang raped in Balochistan and that triggered the war between Pak army and Baloch tribes. Not a small issue.
Why the hell should we–she was not at all a Bigboss enterant. And she did protest too, that too against the rapists, who we know who they are ,and then left to USA out of frustration and her safety. How many blogs came out on her–there were but not as many, I can bet.
But she never became the champion of the raped girls or symbol of oppression..

Yes Mukhtara Mai did become one. I am glad and I laud all of us for making her so- the media, the bloggers, the FB friends. We all made her the ‘hero’. Not she herself. Exceptions are always there.

A schoolgirl, Kainat Soomro was gang raped at the age of 13. Four years later, today, she is still fighting for justice.
“Kainat Soomro should have stayed silent. After being battered and gang raped for four days her traditional, conservative village in rural Pakistan expected the 13-year-old girl to keep her story to herself. She refused.”

Writes Robin Crilly, from Daily Telegraph on just 26 December, 2010. How many of us cross posted after reading it. And this includes me too. I do not absolve myself from this indifference.

This is what a 13 year old Kainat said,
“This is what happens in Pakistan. Poor women have no chance. These men set the rules and think they know how to deal with these issues. They don’t.”
But who noticed? Who called her a Warrior Princess? Who claimed that Kaanat is ‘me’?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/pakistan/8224111/Pakistans-rape-victim-who-dared-to-fight-back.html

And then just yesterday the DAWN blog by Shyma highlighting the killing of a faceless SAIMA etc and addressing to the frenzy of the bloggers to ‘hot’ stuff.

And I waited for 24 hours with impatience to see how many of my FB friends, who went and crossposted Veena , went gaga over her courage and valour, will crosspost this. Not even ONE did. Yes not even ONE.

http://blog.dawn.com/2011/01/26/this-blog-is-for-you/

Who are we kidding guys?

I can go endlessly with such cases who are loaded with serious issues and serious struggles. But the point is again we are a masala loving nation. And we want masala, the hotter the better.

I was wondering for the last 24 hours as to what is wrong with my brain, my thinking. Did God assemble it wrong order when doing so. Why do I think ‘wierd’ from others, when all of us agree to one thing that this is extremism, bigotry, moral policing is wrong.

I too think Veena being moral policed is wrong but then why am I not being a veena wannabe.
Is it because I am old or I am jealous of her beauty. May be, subconciously.

I even love hot food. But why not hot news then?

Then suddenly I get a flash in my head in the middle of a very important presentation that I was doing for an international organisation begging them to pay their attention to the Maternal Mortality in Pakistan too, not just India or Bangladesh.

And then the reality flashed probably because I donot ever ever switch on to the never ending soaps that run on STAR PLUS. I am so feeble minded that I cant recall even one name.

To what extent am I blind will be obvious from this incident- when I ran into a ‘huge’ startlet who was a VIP for a fundraiser we had worked for–I just didnt place her and offered her a seat in the audience much to the offence of the organisers as well she herself.

Yes I donot watch Indian STARPLUS and that is my anomaly. I get it now to the peace of my mind. Hence, I dont get the greatness in the two minutes screaming of a STARPLUS heroine to a two minute moral policing for her.

But I love ‘hot’ food , please.

Ilmana Fasih

P.S. I WANT TO CLARIFY THAT MY PROTEST HERE BLOG AFTER BLOG IS NOT WITH VEENA , IT IS THOSE WHO BLOW THINGS OUT OF PROPORTION WITH NO END ACHIEVED THRO IT. AS FAST AS THE BUBBLE ERRUPTS, AS FAST IT BURSTS. I AWAIT HOW AGAIN WE WILL SLEEP A DEEP SLEEP AND SWTICH ON TO STARPLUS WHEN THE VEENA BUBBLE BURSTS.

Category:

Health, Pakistan, Politics, Social Issues, Women

MADAM CURIE–A DREAM OF EVERY STUDENT

This excerpt is taken from an article ”
EMERGING WOMAN HAS A LOFTY AND KNOWLEDGE BASED PRIDE – Dr. A.P.J. Kalam” on four Indian Women Scientist published in India Current Affairs on September 3, 2010.

Madam Curie was a co-worker of Henri Becquerel during research, who discovered the properties of the element uranium. Curie came to know about those properties and set about investigating the effect, which she named “radio-activity” for her Doctorate research.

Madam Curie’s life has full of challenges. She was not afraid of the problems, she defeated the problem and succeeded. This experience of Madam Curie will definitely be an inspiration for all students of the present and future generations.

Marie Curie checked many other elements to determine whether they too were radioactive. She found one, thorium, and also came across a source of radiation in a mixture called “pitch-blend,” which was much more powerful than either thorium or uranium.

Working together, it took Marie and her husband Pierre four years to isolate the radioactive source in the pitch-blend. Madam Curie used to carry large quantity of pitch-blend on her head for extracting few grams of material in the laboratory which needed tons of ‘pitch-blend’. That few grams of the material was her discovery. Marie named it as radium. For the discovery of radium, Marie and Pierre won a Nobel Prize in Physics in 1903, which they shared with their friend A Henri Becquerel. Shortly, Marie found that what she had discovered was not pure radium, but she was able to isolate the element itself after quite a struggle. For this work, she was given the Nobel Prize for Chemistry in 1911.

During her work, Marie discovered radiation could kill human cells. She reasoned that if it could kill healthy human cells, it could kill diseased human cells also and went about isolating radium for use in killing tumors.

In 1906 Pierre Curie was offered the position of director of the Physics Laboratory at the Sorbonne. Before he could take the position, however, he was run over by a carriage and killed. After her husband died, Marie was offered and took the position, the first woman to become director of a research laboratory. In our country time has come for talented women scientists to take up the position of directors of major scientific laboratories.

During the first World War, Marie Curie went to work for the French designing and building X-ray machines. Knowing that moving soldiers to a hospital before they needed surgery was not always possible, she designed the first mobile X-ray machine and traveled with it along the front lines during the war.

On July 4, 1934, Marie Curie died in Paris, killed by her own experiments. She died of radiation poisoning and may have been the first person to do so. Marie Curie had brought herself up from poverty, struggling to get her education and succeeding brilliantly. The work she did, she did with patience, often getting results only after years of careful experimentation, while struggling for money to support her work. For her struggles, she received two Nobel Prizes – the first woman to win even one. Through the knowledge she gained, thousands of lives have been saved. The courage and perseverance shown by Madame Curie in her pursuit of scientific mission and achieving successes are indeed remarkable and stimulating.

Category:

Women

VEENA BEHN YOU ARE NOT ‘ME’

VEENA MALIK VEENA MALIK VEENA MALIK

Everywhere you turn, is the name of Veena Malik.

I close my eyes and your image flashes..
I slept last night and I dreamt of you.
Oh Veena you have captured my heart and mind like no one ever did before.

Yes you are a smart and a talented girl. I was a fan of your acting and mimicry in the HUM SUB UMEED SE HAIN when you hosted the show.You carried the roles of almost anyone from Benazir, to Kashmala Tariq to Fridous Awan to a two plait juniour school girl with such awesome accuracy.
When you left the show I missed you. I did not enjoy the show for weeks after that with the new anchor.

When you had your the affair with Asif, the alleged marriage and then the breakup–I didnt gossip about it . For it was your personal life . None of my business. Exactly the way it is none of anybody’s business to know about my personal life.
I really felt sorry for you when you split with Asif and you narrated your tragedy of abuse and your finanacial help to a broke Asif, even when you were ridiculed. And you know all those cricket loving guys turned against you and called you millions of names. Yes they were such immature to take Asif’s side. None of them knew what was the inside truth in it. Your story was right or wrong, was none of my business. For I looked at you only as an actress and Asif as a cricketer who got wickets for the team. Nothing more nothing less.

And yes when the news came that you and Ali Saleem were selected for the BigBoss, I just heard it one minute and forgot it the next. Not because I was jealous but because I have different priorities. I dont watch such shows. Yes you do such shows or millions watch them. It’s their choice. None of my business to judge you or anyone.

What ever you did on the show–I just heard off and on, and sometimes stalked the link to check–people frowned at you and raised their eyebrows on your morality. Yes these people have small minds. But to me it didnt matter. You are a showbiz girl. Showbiz is your bread and butter. I know, you have a huge family if unmarried sisters and a brother to feed.
Kudos, to you for being a ‘man’ of your family.
You seek publicity. People call it cheap publicity. Sometimes I also blurt out such unethical words. I’m sorry for that. I need not judge you. You only know how hard it is to survive in a competitive world, that too of showbiz. You only face the hardships that any woman has to face in an industry where a woman is taken as a selling commodity.

You survived long in the show. Whatever method you used was your business. You had to do it and you had every right to choose how you survuved. If you flirted with whoever that tall guy was, you did it with yourself. You did not push me to sit in his lap. Those who called this haram –they are bigots and idiots. You will be answerable for your deeds in the grave. They may not be sitting in some ones lap doing haram but they take bribes, tell lies and most of all bitch about you–it lis like they are eating the meat of their dead brother. They too will be questioned in their grave.

They gave you fatwas and fb pages erupted asking to not allow you to come to Pakistan–but you came.
Bravo. You are not a coward. You are a brave girl. You are a son to your mom. I commend her.

You came on the Kamran Shahid’s show . The clean shaven ‘God fearing’ anchor and the unkemptly bearded Mullah both interrogated you about your ordeal. You answered to the best of your aptitiude. Some blogger said you looked sexy–well he is an ass, you did not come there for glamour. You came to clarify yourself.

The mullah and KS asked you all kinds of stuppidd questions and emotionally blackmailed you for Pakistan or Islam. But MashAllah, you are so honest, you shut up those arguments by saying you represented you not Pakistan not Islam. You said in so many words that you went there with your own agenda. Yes Allah rewards honest and punishes the hypocrats. You definitely are not a hypocrat.

Yes it is first you and your family to be fed. If you are well fed then only can you love your country or your faith. Singing Qaumi Tarana or reciting Surah Rehman will not give you and your family the basic needs of food, shelter and clothing. If you have no money, no Mullah or no Pakistani patriot will bring food for you for free. So it is no one’s business to judge you from the Islamic or Pakistani angle. You never took refuge with anyone to save you. You never begged anyone to give you money. Instead you gave sooo much money to Asif that he couldnt even digest it and hence puked it on your relationship.

When you could not bear no more you cried and screamed. As a woman I did not like it. A strong woman neither cries nor screams to put her views across. A strong woman makes others cry, instead. Yes next time they make you cry, you make them cry in return. But then it was you not me. I shouldnt have judged you again.

Yes I pity you for what hue and cry is going on about you. And the mullah with or without beards, are crying fowl for you. But these bigots and Mullah, they are a pain for everyone, not just for you. And these Fatwas are a peice of crap. Allah doesn’t get pleased by such Fatwas. This is their thriving business you see. So please dont give a hoot to these Fatwas.

These religious bigots killed Taseer recently, they are after Sherry Rehman, they call Asma Jehangir all kinds of names. They hate Beena Sarwar for her values.Yeah, they even killed Benazir. They were the ones who hanged Bhutto too. They even killed Gandhi in India, yaar. We are fighting them since years. We have to go on fighting them. Good you are taking them head on . I like it. Keep it up.

But then Veena you are so lucky, so many people have fallen in love with you. Girls dream of at least one person falling in love with them, and you have so many. Maa, you’re a lucky girl. I know you are getting so many SMSs with their love notes. Save them for life in the hard disk. They come pretty handy when you feel low for some other reason in you later life.

But Veena I have one issue with you. No no, not with you but with all those enlightened chocolate hearts in which you have made a permanent home. They are so overwhelmed by you and your bravery that they see Veena Malik in every woman. Yes they see Veena Malik in me too.

But ‘m sorry. You are you and me is me. And every woman in Pakistan is ‘SHE’ herself. Everyone has her own story. Everyone has her own modus operandi to survive.

Please tell all your beloveds– I know you have many among the cleanshaven guys and hijabless gals– to please spare me and my other Pakistani sisters.

You have been fortunate to get fame, name, money, Asif, even sympathy.

Many many million of my sisters here dont get even a proper two full meals because their brothers are fed first.

You enjoyed such wonderful Indian cuisines in the Bigboss.

They dont go to school because they have to look after their sibs. They cant even step out of the house.

You went all the way to Bombay, India to do Big boss.

No one asks them when they are married off to older men, whether they love the groom or not.

You got married to your love Asif by your choice and then you split, then you will marry again by your choice ( Oh! now you have a huge choice).

No one comes to their rescue when they are beaten by their husbands, brothers, or fathers.

You got such overwhelming love and hearts melted when the Mullah or Kamran just talked to you so rudely.

If my poor sisters oppose their parents or dont obey them they get killed in the name of honour.

If you will get such threats you will fly back to India fast and be safe.

Nobody loves them, not even their fathers, brothers or husbands.

And you have sooo maaannnyyy beloveds.

So, Veena did you see now, there is no comparison between you and them.
You are you. They are they. Me is me.
We all have different stories . We all have different journeys.

Please tell these beloveds of yours, in whose chocolate hearts you reside, not to tag you to those poor women.
I know you are not doing this yourself. But these silly infatuated souls, their love for you is blind. So they tag you with every woman of Pakistan. They are immature you see. They arent grown up yet. But you are pretty grown up I know.

I understand their sentiments, but you see Veena, my poor sisters feel depressed that their plight is underestimated by comparison to you. Their issues are far more serious and deeper than yours. They have a tough day to day struggle of their survival.

Thank your stars for that. You are born luckier than them.

But then they have to live their fate and fight for their existence far more hard. Their road of life is far far more rocky and their journey far too long.

Please I tell you to make a humble request to your admirers, from my behalf to untag my poor sisters of you.

If your status is sky their status is the bottom of a deep pit on this earth. You are far more fortunate.

You are you. They are they. Me is me.
So please tell your beloveds to untag you from my really oppressed sisters for good.

Let us not mix the two struggles and entangle or complicate the situation.

I love you too , Veena.
But behn you are not ‘me’.

Ilmana Fasih

P.S. This is written in light of the various articles and blogs that came up with valid sympathies for Veena`s moral policing. But am afraid they all went over board in linking her individual struggle to the struggle of millions of oppressed women of Pakistan. And that just because she screamed at the Mullahs on the TV she came to be the Champion of the Oppressed women en masse when she made it aptly clear that she is fighting for herself not as a Pakistani or as a Muslim.Yes she has every right to fight her battle the way she likes. To link her to the oppressed women of Pakistan in general is as deplorable as our Mullahs link each or our action to Islam or Pakistaniat.

We do not need Veena`s crutches to fight for our liberal values–aptly said by Ali Naushad.

Bottom line: Some people are born oppressed, some get oppressed later, some have Oppression thrust upon themselves.

Category:

CULTURE, Humour, Pakistan, Women

AhmedFaraz-Suna Hai Log Use Aankh Bhar Ke Dekhte Hain

Suna Hai Log Use Aankh Bhar Ke Dekhte Hain
So Uske Shaher Mein Kuch Din Thaher Ke Dekhte Hain

Suna Hai Ki Dard Ki Gahak Hai ChasmENaaz Uski
So Hum Bhi Uski Ghali Se Guzar Ke Dekhte Hain

Suna Hai Rabt Hai Usko Kharab Haalon Se
So Apne Aap Ko Barbad Kar Ke Dekhte Hain

Suna Hai Usko Bhi Hai SherOShairi Se Sharaf
So Hum Bhi Mozize Apne Hunar Ke Dekhte Hain

Suna Hai Bole To Baton Se Phool Jhadte Hain
Yeh Baat Hai To Chalo Baat Kar Ke Dekhte Hain

Suna Hai Din Ko Use Titliyan Satati Hain
Suna Hai Raat Kozugnu Thaher Ke Dekhte Hain

Suna Hai Hasr Hain Uski Ghzaal Si Aankhein
Suna Hai Usko Hiran Dast Bhar Ke Dekhte Hain

Suna Hai Uski Siyah Chashmagi Qayamat Hai
To Usko Surma Farosh Aah Bhar Ke Dekhte Hain

Suna Hai Aeena Tamsaal Hai Jabeen Us Kee,
Joo Sada Dil Hai Usay Ban Sawer K Dekhtay Hain

Suna Hai Us K Laboon Say Gulaab Jaltay Hain,
So Hum Bahaar Pay Ilzaam Dher K Dekhtay Hain

Suna Hai Us K Badan Kee Taraash Asi Hai,
Ki Phool Apni Qabaaeein Quter K Dekhtay Hain

Rokay To Gerdeshain Us Ka Tawaaf Kertee Hain,
Chalay To Us Ko Zamanay Thaher K Dekhtay Hain

Mubalgein Hi Sahi Sab Kahaniyan Hi Sahi
Agar Woh Khawab Hai Tabeer Kar Ke Dekhte Hain

Ab Us K Shaher May Thahray K Koooch Ker Jaaeein,
Faraaz Aaoo Sitaray Safer K Dekhtay Hain….!
~Ahmed Faraz

Category:

Poetry, URDU POETRY, Women

“Aurat” by Kaifi Azmi

With the current state of woman in the subcontinent, we need to remind ourselves of how progressive poets like Kaifi Azmi not just dreamt, but sketched in verses an image of a woman of subatance, way back in 1942.

Today well into the 21st Century, we still just dream to realize this. And we have miles to go…

Aurat

Woman

qalb e mahaul meN larzaN sharar e jung haiN aaj
hausle vaqt ke aur zeest ke yek rang haiN aaj
aabgeenoN meN tapaN valvala e sang haiN aaj
husn aur ishq hum avaz o hum aahang haiN aaj
jis meN jalta huN usi aag meN jalna hai tujhe