Open up your mind and your potential reaches infinity…


Published in @ETribune : http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/12865/dont-play-god-with-the-lives-of-innocent-children/

As the rest of the world is sprinting forward, we in Pakistan seem to be walking backwards. One used to get this sense sometimes, but now with passage of time, it comes more often. With the fact that most of the difficult places like India having grappled with a serious health issue like Polio, and are at the turn of calling themselves polio free, we in Pakistan are not just not close to that, but even retreating fast to make sure we get further away from this dream.

The news of North Waziristan deciding to impose Polio drops ban in their area as a protest against the drones, or the boycotting of Polio campaign in Drazinda village while protesting against the load shedding, brings in not just shivers to the health conscious on this globe, but also gives yet another reason for Pakistan to be a focus in the international circles for a ridiculous reason.

They have a right to register their protests against drone’s attacks, or of Dr Afridi’s betrayal or even against load shedding. But how is this justified by turning ones guns against the innocent kids who are in no way directly or indirectly responsible for any of these unfair actions.

How is banning of Polio drops to the kids going to make a difference to the drones? Is it not akin to hitting your own foot with an axe, crippling yourself even more, making your own children, who are the youth of tomorrow, be burdened with more illhealth and handicap? How will this help them stop drone attacks, or generate more electricity or prevent more Dr Afridis being recruited?

How are risking one’s own children to a crippled life, a way of avenging the atrocities of the aggressors?

As said by a twitter friend: “Taliban want to kick US outta Afghanistan/Pakistan but they never know kicking with polio affected legs is quite impossible ‪#PolioBan‬”

No atrocity is large enough to avenge the innocent kids, be they are from any ethnic community or faith or nationality. And to our horror, the Taleban are putting to risk their very own kids.

A tweep justifying the Polio ban remarks: “But people from your profession (referring to Dr Afridi) for betraying the Polio campaign”.

Does one or a few insincere health professionals justify you to make your own children risk being crippled with Polio. Who are you hurting by this? The health professionals or your own kids?

They argue the drones kill more children than from Polio? Yes this is true, and killing of children by drones is criminal like risking the health of innocent children by Polio ban is criminal too. They harm and kill your children, but you in return risk crippling your own children. Is there any commonsense in this logic?
Those who continue and justify drones by all means, will they stop by your threat of Polio ban? Who will it hurt the drones or your own kids?

Or is it because this is the easiest way out, to kick out the unarmed sincere medical personnel, and lash out at unaware innocent children, both of whom will not be able to defend back, this extremely  unfair decision, with equal force.

As a medical professional, I can only scream loud and cry that they have no right to aggressively jeopardise the health of the innocent, at the cost of another aggression.

Which sect of Islam, or which moral value of humanity or which aspect of the hospitality of the large hearted tribals justify for avenging a wrong action with usurping the rights of the meek and the powerless , innocent kids?

Avenging an injustice, by risking the health and crippling your own children for life?
What kind of courage and valour is this?

I am aghast to see that there are educated on Twitter who are justifying‪ the polio vaccination ban, what to talk of those who give it a silent support. ‪

Polio vaccination ‬ campaign should not be used as a shield against drones. It wont help, but be counterproductive. Will it harm the aggressors or the innocent Pakistani kids?

Polio isn’t petty politics for which politicians, civil society, liberals or conservatives, or general public should not speak up. For the health of Pakistani kids, and for the sake of humanity, please speak up.

I beg you all, please speak up against the Polio Vaccination ban.

This appeal was in response to this news :

http://articles.cnn.com/2012-07-17/asia/world_asia_pakistan-taliban-polio-vaccine_1_polio-vaccines-polio-campaign-drone-strikes

 


It’s just not funny
When your nose is runny;
You feel all soggy,
Hoarse and froggy.
Your throat is scratching;
The germs are hatching.
You know it’s catching
KERCHOOO!
– “Runny Nose” by Kay Winters

Thanks to nose, beyond the sense of smell it has another very important function! It is literally the guardian of our body’s respiratory system. The air tubes which carry air into our lungs, the nose moistens and warms the air that we breathe in, and filters out a lot of pollution before the air enters lungs.

If a person repeatedly suffers from sneezing with running nose that itches and feels stuffy, it could be allergic rhinitis.

Myth: Every runny, stuffy nose, is not bad cold.
Truth: Allergic rhinitis is not “simply” a cold, and if it is not treated properly, it can lead to more serious problems in the long run.

What is Allergic Rhinitis?

Allergic rhinitis an allergy of the nose.
Before we understand Allergic Rhinitis we should first of all understand “What is allergy?”
Human body has a unique defense system called ‘Immune System’. The Immune system fights and protects us from diseases just like the army which protects a country from adversaries. When harmful things such as bacteria or viruses enter human body, the immune system rightly recognizes them as “enemy” and attacks them.

But at times our immune system gets confused about the enemy. It reacts to harmless things like dust particles, the hair of animals, the pollen from plants and trees, and sometimes even certain food items.

Symptoms: Besides nose, allergy can affect various parts of our body such as the skin and eyes. There is excessive sneezing, itching and watering from the nose and eyes. The congested nose can get blocked.

What causes Allergic Rhinitis?

Pollens from plants and trees, house dust mites, animal dander, smoke and other pollutants and sometimes even drugs (especially aspirin) are some of the allergens which trigger conditions like allergic rhinitis.

Don’t confuse Allergic Rhinitis with Common Cold.

Allergic rhinitis is caused by allergens, whereas a cold is caused by bacteria or virus. Both these problems are accompanied by sneezing, running/blocked and itchy nose. Here are some of the signs which can help us to identify allergic rhinitis:

• There is no fever and body ache.

• The mucus in nose is clear and runny, not yellow/green and thick.

• One may sneeze many a times before the sneezing attack stops.

• There is itchy feeling in Nose, Ears and Throat.

• Eyes water a lot.

• These problems stay longer than a typical cold.

Can Allergic Rhinitis cause serious complications?

Though allergic rhinitis does not threaten life, it can certainly disrupt one’s life. It affects sleep pattern; performance at school or work, and makes one feel and look miserable. All that is bad enough, but also, if allergic rhinitis is not treated properly, there can be other problems, some of them more serious, like:

• Conjunctivitis: The conjunctivitis is the thin covering of the white part of our eye. An allergic reaction can cause swelling, redness, itching and watering of the eyes.

• Nasal Polyps: Polyps are fleshy growths caused by swelling of the lining of the nose. Polyps can become large enough to block breathing.

• Sinusitis: Fluid collects in the sinuses, which are hollow cavities in the bony area around the nose. Bacteria collect in this fluid and cause infections.

• Asthma: Frequent symptoms of allergic rhinitis like swelling, itching and watering may lead to asthma in the long run.

How can we treat Allergic Rhinitis?

“Say goodbye to the habit of Pill-Popping. Self-Medication can harm in the long run. Consult a doctor, who will study symptoms and condition and then suggests right treatment.”

Exposure to allergens should be avoided. Follow few essential steps which help to control things that make Allergic Rhinitis bad to worse:

• Exposure to furry/hairy animals should be avoided. If you have a pet, keep it out of your bedroom/living area.

• Ensure curtains, bed sheets, carpets and soft toys are washed frequently.

• Enclose mattresses in plastic covers and if possible, if possible change the foam mattresses that are more than five years old.

• Vacuuming is better option than sweeping. Clean furniture and doors with damp cloth, because this removes dust better than dry dusting and sweeping.

• Make sure walls of your house are free of mould and fungi. Use mild solution of bleach to clean and get rid of moulds.

• Do not smoke, and make your home a “No-Smoking Area”.

Following these simple steps would certainly ease your life with Allergic Rhinitis.

Courtesy: This post has been prepared by Dr Raminderjit Singh.


Hindu Gods claimed it to be the Food of Gods, the emperors and nawabs called it the King of fruits, poets like Ghalib called it pots with honeyed juice , scientist call it Magnifera indica, with all the special names given by special beings.

To the ordinary, however,  it remains a simple ‘Aam’ ( which itself means ‘ordinary’).

What generous qualities is this wonder fruit not bestowed with—soft silky texture, gorgeously golden color, a mesmeric aroma for the olfaction, and a heavenly sweet delight to the taste buds. And not just the quality, in the peak of its season, it comes in abundance, making Aam ( mango), yet another symbol of generosity. And as if these qualities weren’t enough, it comes in hundreds of varieties.

I love the way, when in abundance, mango sells at a reasonable price making it affordable to many if not all the poor.
“Till last week, in Delhi, some variety of mangoes were being sold at as low as Rs 30 per kg,”, tells my Mom. Still in this world of commerce and trade, India though  the greatest producer and remains the largest consumer of mangoes too, with 99% being consumed locally and only 1% is exported.

Thinking of mangoes, mind goes instantly to a few cues—of mango orchards in Rataul,  where one went to eat just mangoes, or of childhood visits to grandparents where buckets of mangoes soaked in cool water waited for our arrival, and of mangoes being brought home by parents in pettis( wooden boxes) and tokras (baskets) not polybags.  Abundance was common to all.

Beyond eating them as it is, mango shake or mango lassi are universal favorites too.

Right from unripe green to a pulpous ripe fruit, mangoes are worthy of being used in a variety of recipes. The strong mango flavour that obstinately stays even after cooking or mixing with other ingredients, makes it stand out and still remain the main ‘hero’ of any recipe.

The itch to break the monotony and use them in different recipes had always been quite intriguing. Having experimented with various recipes, there are some which have hit really well with my folks at home. And now each mango season, their demand is refreshed.

I share here those  household favorites

Aam Panna:  An age-old traditional drink, that elderly claim beats the heat stroke or LOO (in the desi jargon. Made from unripe or semi ripe mangoes, boiled and pulp sieved, which can be used as either sweet (with sugar) or sour ( without sugar). Adding a dash of chunky chaat masala( desi spices), and a twig of mint leaves makes it a great delight. The resultant sweet n sour drink is a great thirst quencher.

Mango-Avocado-Crab Salad: Layered as avocado cubes with crushed garlic at the bottom, mango cubes with ginger juice in the middle, and crab meat sitting on top. The outcome is pretty cool, with much economy of labor and time.

Mango Salsa &  mango chutney with barbecued chicken:
Mango salsa includes tomato and mango cubes, red onion and jalepino pepper with lemon juice and mint or cilantro garnished. The resultant is a colorful, crunchy mix that is hot, sweet and sour.
Mango chutney is made from green mango pulped, and cooked with sugar and achar masala (pickle spices). Vinegar is added as preservative, after it cools.

Mango Crepes &  Waffles: Hot Crepes or waffles with mango cubes and whipped cream or custard.  Kids love it for a weekend breakfast.

Mango Rose: This is almost a decade long favorite dessert  in the house, a must inclusion in the parties arranged in  mango season. The recipe is an in-house creation and hence kept secret :). Got to eat before ask for the recipe.

Happy mango season !


“A beautiful, golden radiant princess, the daughter of Sun God landed on Earth. The King of the land instantly fell in love with her, and desired to marry her. However, a sorceress fell jealous of how King was enamoured by her, and turned her into ashes. From these ashes a huge tree with dark green leaves grew, which bore golden fruits taking to the radiance of the princess. As one of the fruits ripened and fell on Earth, it instantly turned back into the same Princess Surya Bai. The King recognised her, and they got married.”

This is how the legend of the origin of a mango tree, symbolizing  eternal love, is mentioned in ancient Sanskrit literature.

The tree is known to date back to 4000BC in India and the fruit it bore, has been known as the ‘fruit of Gods’.

There is another legend which says that :

Lord Shiva and his wife Parvati were gifted with a golden fruit by Narada, the son of Lord Brahma and with an instruction to be eaten by only one person. So they chose to give to one of their two sons, with a condition that whoever will take 3 rounds of the universe first will be rewarded with this fruit. Ganesh being a smart child took three rounds around his parents and reached back earlier than the other brother, Karthik, saying,  “My parents are my universe”.

Hence Ganesha got the fruit, owing to his unequivocal love for his parents.

Not just the fruit, the whole mango tree is revered in Hindu mythology.

Considered auspicious, its dark, big leaves are  used to adorn the house in festivals like Diwali and Pongal.

In the weddings too, as a symbol of love and fertility, the leaves are held in a row by a string and hung at the door to welcome the new bride into the house.


A
uspicious mango leaves adorning the door.

As an evergreen mango tree starts to blossom with buds, it heralds the onset of spring, and hence called madhu duta( the messenger of spring) that invites love.

A sanksrit couplet says:
aṅkurite pallavite korakite vikasite ca sahakāre |
aṅkuritaḥ pallavitaḥ korakito vikasitaś ca madano ‘sau ||

As the mango flowers begin to swell, to put forth sprouts, to bud and finally to blossom,
Love too swelled, sprouted, budded and blossomed.

The dark green leaves, with fragrant buds and blossoms attract the swarms of humming bees and singing cuckoo birds. The relationship of Mango tree laden with blossoms and Cuckoo bird is that of a lover and the beloved.

The secret of Cuckoo’s melodious voice is associated with the sweet fragrance of mango blossoms and honey laden mango fruits. Perhaps owing to this, mango buds were known to be eaten by singers in old days to make their voice melodious.


Cuckoo on a  mango tree.

Kalidas in his poetry Seasons( Ritusamharam) describes the Spring (Vasanta) as:

” Intoxicated by the nectar of mango blossoms ,
The cuckoo kisses his mate happily in love,….”
“The lovely mango shoot is his choicest arrow,
the swarm of bees is his bow string,
……….
May the world-conquering Manmatha,
Accompanied by vasanta,
Grant you more and more joy.”

Amir Khusrau relates them as:

sakal ban phool rahi sarson
ambva phootey, tesu phule,
koel boley dar dar,
gori karat shingar

The mustard blooms in every field,
Mango buds snap open, the flower blooms,
The cuckoo sings from every branch,
The damsel adorns make-up.

Apart from Gods, even the Rajas, Maharajas, Mughal Emperors and Nawabs could not contain their love for Mangoes, and it is no secret. They were known to keep mango orchards, and took pride in showing off their orchards to the royal guests and spending time with their queens in the orchards when they trees were laden with fragrant blossoms.

Sending a baskets of select mangoes to friends and kins was considered a coveted gesture. Along with the sweetness and aroma, it carried the affection from its sender.

There are folk songs, passed on from generations, relating to Cuckoo bird as the beloved of mango tree:

A Hindi song from India:

Amuva ki dali bole: “Kaali koyaliya, aajaa balmuva hamaar, aja balamuva hamaar.
~The mango branch calls out: “Oh the black cuckoo, come my beloved, come my beloved.” 

Yet another one a Punjabi folk song from Pakistan:

Ambewaan de booteyan pe lag gaya bore nee, rut we milaapan waalin, chann mera door nee.
~There are blossoms on  mango tree, and the season of being together is there, but my friend is away. 

 

A  dussehri mango shaped like a heart, a gift of nature, grown on the mango tree in  Reena Satin`s garden.

 

P.S. A few more blogs to follow on mango and a some  interesting recipes using mango 🙂


Many stories in our lives, no matter how little, but  leave us changed.

I begin with my own family’s story, which  broke my barriers of India-Pakistan, and changed my life for all times to come:

Living in a rented house in New Delhi, India  for some time, we were faced with a senior couple as out Landlords, who were old workers of a radical extremist organisation. They put restrictions on my parents for the list of food items we would not be allowed to cook in the kitchen.
Auntie, as my parents called her, would come and check the kitchen often. But since my parents were complying to their demands, respecting their sentiments, they did not object. In fact, they let her reassure herself.

Once my Papa’s Khala in Lahore, Pakistan went sick, and he wanted to see her before she passed away. Luckily we got the visa too, easily. My parents informed  Uncle-Aunty that we are going for a visit to Pakistan. Honestly we expected a negative reaction.

On the contrary, a day later, the senior couple came upstairs to us and made a ‘moving’ appeal. They said they lived in some house in Lahore before migrating in 1947, as newlyweds, and if we could get the picture of that house. The house address, they had memorised by heart, even after almost 29 years, in 1978

The address was (some number), Ram Gali, Lahore.

We went to visit their house, took pictures of it. The current residents were very hospitable and showed us all the different curious things about the house they had left preserved “as it is’ in the house.
One such thing was the OM installed at the head of the entrance of the house.

When we returned back, first thing my Papa did was to develop the photos, and present it as an album to them.

The couple cried in tears seeing the pictures and hearing the details we had told to them from the residents. They were particularly moved at the OM still in place, and the name of the street still being Ram Gali.

Almost the same time, my Nani had passed away, and Ammi would feel depressed. Auntie said, “You are my daughter, as it is I have none “.  She had two sons, who were living away.

Auntie never came up for checking the kitchen, but to give guavas from her tree in the back yard to us kids, or jasmine (chameli ) flowers from the garden, which my mother loved so much.

Our house was under construction. Uncle offered, “Take me there, since I have experience in house building I can give you some suggestions”.

After 6 months we moved to our own house. But the relationship of love continued. They did not visit much as they were very old, but whenever we visited their house as family we were received  by  hugs  with “We are your Nani Nana.”

Another…

Attending  an AGM of an NGO for seniors, Mr Roy, from DELHI, INDIA narrated a story with emotions & tears:

“My 89 year old mother was admitted in a hospital emergency in Toronto, in a semiconscious state. The attending doctor, considering her age & condition, to my horror said

“You must prepare yourself for an end-of-life measures for her”. 

Mr Roy replied: “She is my mother, so I do not accept your offer and demanded for a change of doctor.” 
They complied. And another Dr Kirmani, with origin from KARACHI, PAKISTAN was assigned. He told me “Just pray for her, I will try my best.”

“After 3 weeks in hospital, my mother came back home, with mild recent memory loss, but is active and reads newspapers but she forgets easily. My mother is alive and prays for Dr Kirmani’s well being each day”

I would beg  anyone who has any story of LOVE, please share here in the comments  and on event page:

Celebrate India, Pakistan Independence Days for PEACE on 14, 15 August

https://www.facebook.com/events/185174041611282/

Nirala Sawera


Dedicated to the events :  

Pledge for Peace Launch in UTM, Mississauga, ON.  https://www.facebook.com/events/398846800175596/

Aug 14-15, 2012 Pakistanis, Indians, celebrate Independence Day for Peace
https://www.facebook.com/events/185174041611282/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/amankiasha1/#!/events/243690589069619/

Nafrat ki gathri ko mein ney
Phenk diya hai gireh laga ker
Hasrat se ab khol rahi hoon
Yaadon bharey iss thailey ko
Pyaar ki taaza hawa lagaane
Aman ki roshan dhoop dikhane.

Tum bhi aao, kholo apni
Saari gaanthein, saare bull
Tum bhi apne jholey mein se
Bujhe huwe woh deep nikalo
Un yaadon ke, un baaton ke
Un qisson ke, jo itne zyada
Dohratey the jab Nana Dada
Chehre unke damka jaate the
Ankhein unki chamka detey the.

Usee dhamak ki roshni mein tar
Usee chamak ki lau ko lekar
Mein bhi apna deep jalaaoon
Tum bhi apna diya jalaao
Roshan phir se rahon ko ker dein

Taaron se  khwabon ko bher dein.

Apna apna diya jalaa ker
Saare apne dard bhulaker

Mil ker jab sub saath chalenge
Haath me lekar haath chalenge
Dhal jayegi ghurbat ki sham
Ho paayegi khush haali aam.

Lekin saw nahin, hazaar nahin,
Saath her ek ko chalna hogaa.
Sirf mera ya tumhara nahin,
Diya her ek ka jalna hogaa.
Karoron diye jo saath jalenge,
Dil mein nai umang bharenge.
Pher door jab andhera hogaa,

To kya nirala yeh SAWERA hoga.

Ilmana Fasih
June 6, 2012


You are not alone. Stress is a phenomenon affecting all people from all walks of life, in all countries.

Stress is man’s psycho-emotional response to everyday challenging issues and its overload of demands, in excess to his capacity to cope.

What causes stress? 

Stress can  be caused by multiple reasons that occur in everyday life,  like  unexpected turns and twists in career, relationship problems in family or outside, financial losses, fear of disease or death, even a small tiff with near and dear ones may cause stress.

As goes the saying, “There is no stress either before birth or after death”

How does stress affect us?

The manifestation of stress depending upon its intensity or duration. It begins in the head, but descends down to affect the whole body. There can be a healthy body only when there is a healthy mind. It may manifest outwardly as:

  • Insomnia
  • Involuntary weight loss or gain
  • Irritability
  • Anxiety
  • Anger/ Rage

Stress being silent operator, most people do not realize that they are dangerously living with it, till they suffer from its grave after affects.
And when prolonged without intervention can lead to serious issues like:

  • Bodyache/Backaches ( all pains seem exaggerated in stress)
  • Asthma ( not all but some asthmatic attacks are result of psychogenic stress)
  • Hypertension
  • Stomach ulcers
  • Diabetes
  • Heart (cardiovascular) diseases.
  • Depression
  • Suicides.
Studies show: Stress is a major contributing factors either directly or indirectly, to coronary artery disease, cancer, respiratory disorders, injuries due to accidents, cirrhosis of the liver and suicides.

DO YOU KNOW?  

One American is reported to be dying every minute due to stress related cardiac arrest. The medical costs due to direct or indirect consequences of stress alone have been estimated in the United States at well over 1 billion US dollars per year.

A person tries to commit suicide in China every two minutes, giving the country one of the highest suicide rates in the world. These have positive correlation with high intensity stress, owing to an ultra modern life style in a highly competitive environment.

What should you NOT do during stress:

 Smoking
 Drinking too much
 Overeating or under eating
 Long hours in front of the TV or computer
 Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities
 Using pills or drugs to relax
 Sleeping too much
 Procrastinating
 Keeping toobusy to avoid facing problems
 Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)
 Carry your office work or stress at home.

KNOW THAT: “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” ~Mark Twain

How to control Stress:

The key principle to follow in case of stress would be to ignore what cannot be controlled and to control what cannot be ignored.

Face the music: For managing stress there can be two approaches ‘fight’ or ‘flight’. Either face the music or escape it. You cannot wish away stress. It is and will be an integral part of modern and increasingly competitive society.

Stay in control: Do not let the stress to control you. Keep stress under check through will power, proper cultivation of mind, cultivation of positive psyche and meditation.

Be an optimist: Optimistic outlook, cheerful temperament, positive attitude, cultivating sympathy, self discipline, all help to keep mind in good shape. Session with God can be a kind of divine-de-stressor.

Eat Healthy: By having a healthy diet, doing regular exercise, and getting enough sleep your body will be able to cope with the stress.

Move forward: Do not needlessly get tied to the past, get over hangover of the last night and start the morning with a hope for a bright day and brighter tomorrow.
Think of pleasant past, enjoy your present and plan for a future with cheers.

Be a home pigeon: Make home your love nest, where office does not exist. Parents, wife, children are your love companions. Reserve Sundays and holiday for spending time with your loved ones, for relaxation and recreation. Your family is the last line of defense against stress.

Tickle your funny bone: Include humor in your life. Laugh away the oddities of life.

Love yourself: Have a me time. Listen to music, see movies, read favorite authors, cultivate hobbies.

Be a social animal: Invite friends over at home, eat together, laugh together, spend week ends or vacations out with friends.

BOTTOM LINE: You can yourself pose to CALM down stress, what ‘CALMPOSE’ cannot do. 🙂

This text of this blog is generously contributed by Dr Raminderjit Singh. Thank you, Doc 🙂


P.S: This piece is written purely as a  personal observation on personal impact of Polygamy on the lives of women concerned, without judging the theological, or general social implications of Polygamy.

I was raised by a father, who for some personal reasons intensely hated the idea of even teasing one’s wife for another ‘shaadi’. He insisted this was a sadistic joke.

And with this in the background I landed as a newlywed in a place where ‘other’ wife  was not only talked about with much thrill, but polygamy was quite often practiced in real.

Several times in the beginning I was snubbed for my disapproval of it, by the pious, for it being allowed and mentioned in Islam  in so many words- one, two, three or four.

One of the relatively polite friends explained; “See in their society, this is the norm, so they don’t mind. I know of co-wives living in absolute harmony. Since we are not used to this, we find it strange and get critical.” This coming from a non judgemental, desi friend born and bred in west, I had no reason to doubt.

For the first few years, as a stay home Mom of two little kids, all I heard was the men’s side of the story. In a very matter of fact, non threatening manner, my husband would tell me the juicy comments that were hurled at him. “Young, handsome man, with only one wife, look at me I’m 65, and have three.”

Age was no bar, and talking of multiple wives or of planning to take more was the favourite ‘boy-talk’, more so for those on the wrong side of age.

On replying to some random patient’s off the cuff marriage proposal, that he was married, my husband was preached, “So what, I am not asking you to divorce her. Allah has allowed you to keep up to four.”

Even while visiting parents for a long holiday relatives would question, “So might your husband not marry someone in your absence? It’s so common there.”

Thank God, insecurity never came close to me. Not because it could not happen, or that it was allowed in Islam but because, if he had to, my fears would not stop him.

As I joined back work, I incidentally landed to work in  a community where polygamy was more common, than not, especially for the middle aged and elderly men. They usually had two or three and few even had four wives. The eldest wife would be almost their age, as they generally married very young, but the others would be years or many times several decades younger to them.

However, the outlook of polygamy being acceptable by the women in that society, totally turned out to be a mere myth. Almost all women, whether unlettered or educated, housewives or working, young or old, urban or rural, who had other co wives were nowhere near normal in accepting the ‘other woman, or in many cases other women.

Except for one curious case, where the first wife had been through hell after her husband got the second. When he married the third, she came to me (being my patient), rejoicing, “The second one is screaming and crying. Now will she know what hell I went through when she came in?”
The third wife was almost as old as the daughter of the first wife, but they ended up being great friends, all conniving against the middle one.

Rest all of them, I knew were tragic sagas or epitomes of jealousy. The anger and jealousy corroded not just their individual selves, but their families too.

Complains of the other doing a ‘sahar’ ( black magic) was the most frequent. Curious, and unbelievable accusations were hurled by them at each other.

Once, a young lady in her early thirties came hysterical complaining that her womb and vagina were filled with worms after the younger one did ‘sahar’ on her. I took the history and she was most consistent in describing  the symptoms, and explaining them in explicit details.
“Why would she do this?” I asked
“Because she does not want me to get pregnant.”
On examination, when nothing positive came out, she rejoiced claiming that it was because before coming here, she had visited the Sheikh, who made for her dua and gave her something to eat. Instead of thanking me for finding nothing, she kept praising the sheikh for his instant miracle.

Was she lying? No

Was she insane?  No.

This was simply the manifestation of morbid jealousy, which usually occurs among the co-wives or suspicious wives. Her jealousy had induced the delusions of such sort in her mind.

( By definition: Morbid jealousy aka Othello Syndrome or Delusional jealousy, is a psychiatric disorder in which a person holds a strong delusional belief that their spouse or sexual partner is being unfaithful without having any, very little, or insignificant proof to back up their claim.)

For more strong hearted, there was always a tug of war as to who would grab the attention and money from her husband more. Unfortunately for them the attention meant the number of nights he spent with her as compared to the other co-wives.

Spying on each other was a routine, and they frequently inquired:

“The other one had an appointment with you yesterday. Is she pregnant?”
or
“Why was she here? Is there anything wrong with her?”


It took some time before I learnt the flawless trick of how to evade such questions without offending them.

A friendly patient, recently divorced, in a conversation requested: “Look for me a Pakistani man.”
Before I could even think out an answer she continued, “How about your husband”.
Although this one was purely uttered in humour, for them such talk was not a taboo.

What I personally observed was that as a direct result of polygamy, marital discord, domestic abuse and divorces were frequent too.

A husband talking to another woman was generally taken with suspicion. Many of them were even paranoid.

However, they had a reason to, since deciding to take a second or a third wife was as easy as deciding to buy another car on top of the old one. All it required was certain amount of money to pay as dower to the father of the bride.

It even had its economic toll, when one man with average wage was to fend for a family larger than normal, and even when he had surplus money, instead of improving the plight of the home, he would prefer to   finance another wedding for himself.

Many smart women manipulated the situation by never letting their husband have enough money to even think of a second one.

Broadly speaking it kept the women constantly in a hyper vigil, anxious state. This certainly took its toll on the children too. They got entangled in the cross politics at home, and many of them, especially girls  grew up disliking their fathers, and hating step mothers. Jealousies corroded the families and individual values.

Once, on discussing about our family life, keeping our savings in a common pool, for a future project, one of the colleagues, who was herself a second wife remarked:

“I wish I was from a culture like yours, where I lived with my husband as a cooperative wife and not as a spend thrift, or as a guard, constantly on high alert. I wouldn’t care even if I was from a poor country like Pakistan.”


Just yesterday, a friend’s friend requested me to give her some advice over the telephone, about her plans of extending her family. In her early thirties, she has been married for over four years, but now wanted to conceive.

Like any usual gynecologist would, I asked a few questions, and advised the need to just stop any contraception. “That’s all”.

She asked about the appropriate time for conception. Obviously, it had to be “The time you ovulate”, I said almost instantly.
It felt, as if this wasn’t all she wanted to hear from me. After a few seconds of pause from both sides she asked; “Do you know tomorrow is full moon.”

“Okay, maybe, I have no idea. I do not follow the moon sizes, except when just by chance when I happen to see it. Am neither a poet, nor a mystic to follow it”, I joked.
She didn’t find it funny, remained silent over the phone longer. When on a repeat “Hello” she asked, “What is your opinion about Lunar fertility”.

“What? Lunar fertility? Can you please explain?”

“ I have heard, this weekend will be the Full Flower Moon of the year also called as Mother’s Moon. It is going to be the closest to Earth, so the largest moon of the year. Hence, there shall be the highest chances for fertility.” she informed.

“Oh ! I am not sure of that fertility thing.” I did not want to misguide her.

“See, this is coinciding with the time of the spring, where the warming of temperature leads to germination of seeds, and bulbs buried underneath the ground.  Isn’t that an example from nature, of the time for increased fertility.” 

“Well spring comes every year at the same time.” I wasn’t impressed.

“Don’t you know that our menstrual cycles follow as 28 day Lunar calendar, not Solar. And also the fact that scientists have discovered that as the moon waxes, the oestrogen levels rise, peaking at the full moon. And along with it also rises the libido, hence a nature’s way of procreation. It peaks at midnight.” She was so sure.

“Yes, high energies of the full moon, cause tides to rise, but it also creates tides of insomnia in the human beings, leading it to be the ideal time to procreate. I didn’t know this.”  I tried to crack a joke again, but she was still too serious to take it.

And then, as if to make me feel even more miserable about the poverty of my  knowledge, she mentioned the name of a physician, Dr Eugen Jonas who had interest in Astrology/ Astronomy ( she wasn’t sure) and hence led to discover the correlation between fertility and full moon.

“He was a doctor like you, not a naturopath.” She retorted.

I begged my ignorance to her, with a promise to explore further, “Strange, but about  Lunar  fertility I never ever heard a mention in my entire professional life”.

“No, no there is. These scientists deliberately distort facts to hide such Laws of Nature.”

“Why would they hide? In fact it would help them?”

“I don’t know, but since you people all are so against ‘alternate medicine’ you people don’t trust.” She continued, “Don’t you see, even after full use of contraception, there are failure rates of each contraceptive.”

“Yes it is. But that is because of the erratic hormone levels, we have in the body, and also on the improper use of contraception”.

“You know what?”, She dropped another bombshell of myth. “My Naturopath even told me that in the ancient times all women menstruated in sync after the full moon waned, if they did not conceive in the peak of full moon hormones. But now due to artificial lights in the houses, it has disturbed the whole cycle. “

“Yes I know Moon especially full moon has been associated with a lot of poetry in our Urdu language, relating it to  woman, her beauty and radiance, but never imagined it with fertility or procreation”. I tried to reason.

“See the whole idea of  woman  being eulogized as moon, and why not as sun, or stars. In India, when women  fast for their husbands on  Karwa Chauth,  before they break the fast they watch the reflection of moon in their steel thalis ( plates). This reflection of moonlight, increases their levels of female hormones, and makes them look more beautiful in front of their husbands. There is always wisdom behind such practices.” The firmness in her conviction was screaming across the telephone reciever.

I had no knowledge or information, to flout her claim.

She suggested, “There are so many sites, which talk about it. And even those passion crimes, agitated behaviors,  etc increase in the full moon”.

“You mean the men also increase their male hormone levels on full moon? Because all this could be due to the exaggerated male hormones, Androgens, which  in excess are also associated with aggression.”

“Yes, yes.  I don’t know exactly what is Androgen, but haven’t you heard of the stories from Europe, not just India, of  ‘werewolves’ and their relationship to full moon?”

“Oh but they are all myths”.

“No. And researches have proven the increase of births, conceptions and even crimes of passion…..”, again quoting the same doctor.

Jokes apart, I was flabbergasted at the flood of information she  gave me. I had no clue to any of that information, what so ever.

Of course, I was aware of  the havoc the high tides create at the sea shore, owing to  the gravitational pull of full  moon. And have been  a witness of  what  mesmerizing eye-treat it is, to sight the symbol of love Taj Mahal,  in full moon. And even had the fortune to experience live,  the ecstasy of sniffing  the aromatic gardens of Saffron fields in full bloom, during  full moon in Kashmir. (This is an age old tradition in Sopore, Kashmir to visit the Saffron Gardens when their flowers bloom, in full moon, usually in November).

I promised her that I will look up on the net, and search, before telling her more. And before she hung up she announced:

“And by the way, my Naturopath is a European immigrant. And there is plenty of belief in Europe too about this”.

Almost immediately, I looked up on the net and found some links to sites which claim such assertions, and hardly any which refuted them.

Interestingly, one of the sites mentioned Maria Celeste , Galileo’s daughter:
“Writing to her father on 24 – 26 Feb. 1633 (Galileo was then in Rome to be interrogated and tried for heresy) Maria Celeste noted “The vines in the garden will set nicely now that the Moon is right” – and, if we check theory – the Moon was full on 24 Feb. 1633.
[From `Galileo’s Daughter – A Drama of Science, Faith and Love’ by Dava Sobel – ISBN 1-85702-712-4]

And then mentions in the footnote:
[Ironically, Galileo himself rejected all folk-lore about the Moon, as `old wives’ tales. Which was why he failed to solve the connected mysteries of `tides’ and therefore of `gravity’ itself.] “

( Link: http://www.perceptions.couk.com/uef/fertility.html )

Half a day later, I called her up, and told her of having seen the sites:

“Yes, I could see them, but I still trust my knowledge of Gynecology. But,  good for you then, you do not need a gynecologist’s advise, when you believe that the nature is the best gynecologist.”

She laughed and said, “Yes, I have tremendous faith on Naturopathy, and my Naturopath,  is an excellent one. No doctor can beat his knowledge.”
She hung up.

Her faith in the hearsay, and my knowledge from  my books, could not budge each other even an iota from our beliefs.

I kept pondering over the power of faith, for a long time…

Picture: Super Moon or Mother’s Moon clicked at midnight, on the night between May 5 & 6, 2012, in Mississauga, Canada.

 

Another Link: http://www.pregnancy-health-center.com/fertility-during-full-moon.html


Osteoarthritis (OA) is the commonest form of arthritis that occurs as a result of wear and tear of the joint.
As the protective cushion over the bones within the joints, called cartilage, gets worn out gradually, the symptoms get worse. The joints begin to crackle, get stiff, then pain and ultimately cause limited mobility.

Note: This is different from Rheumatoid Arthritis, which occurs in young age, and is less common, but more severe.

Which Joints?

It can occur in any joint, but the most commonly affected are those joints that are used the most- of hands, lower back, knees and hip.

What happens to the joints?

In knee joint:

In the spine:

What can a damaged joint do?
From stiffness, the joints progress to pain off and on, then more lasting pain, ultimately leading to limitation of joint movement, and restricted mobility. The damaged joint can cause blockage of blood supply to the joints, bleeding in the joint or permanent bone impairment.

Although there are pain killers, acupuncture, physiotherapy which can reduce pain, or even surgical procedures like joint replacements, which can improve joint function, but it is the wisest to slow the wear and tear ahead of time.

Risks that are associated with increased wear and tear osteoarthritis are:

Older age.
Gender: Women are more likely to develop osteoarthritis, though it isn’t clear why.
Bone deformities: Some people are born with malformed joints or defective cartilage, which can increase the risk of osteoarthritis.
Joint injuries:Injuries from sports or from an accident, hasten the wear and tear, and hence OA.
Obesity: It is common sense that heavier the weight, faster and worse is the wear and tear.
Sedentary lifestyle as the more the activity, the more nourished is the cartilage.
Occupational: Jobs that cause repetitive stress of a particular joint also increase the wear and tear-like the joints of hands in typists, computer users, knees n those who stand for long like the policemen, etc.
Other diseases.: Diabetes, underactive Thyroid, Gout or Paget’s disease of bone can increase the wear and tear OA.

How can we slow down the wear and tear of joints?

OA is not inevitable with old age one follows a healthy life style. However,  cannot avoid age related wear and tear, but one can certainly minimize the damage caused by misuse of our joints.

You can be a best friend of your joints if you:

1 – Maintain Your Ideal Body Weight : A force of 3-6 times a person’s body weight is exerted across the knee while walking e.g.being 10 pounds overweight increases the force on the knee by 30-60 lbs with each step taken while walking. The force across the hip is, at most, 3 times the body weight. Losing weight reduces stress on the joints substantially.

2 – Exercise Regularly and Participate in Regular Physical Activity For optimal joint health, it’s recommended that people perform 30 minutes of moderately strenuous exercise at least 5 days a week. It’s an established fact that regular exercise has health benefits

3 – Protect Your Joints: There are several joint protection principles, which if followed, will help to conserve energy and preserve joint function. The advice is quite simple, but you must be mindful of proper movements and recognize body signals (e.g., pain). Good posture and proper body mechanics is important.
Check the various Joint protection techniqueshttp://www.spectrumrehab.net/Articles/joint-protection-techniques.html

4 – Avoid Repetitive Stress on the Joints: Signs of repetitive stress include too many uninterrupted repetitions of an activity or motion, unnatural or awkward motions, overexertion, incorrect posture, and muscle fatigue. Unfortunately most of them are occupational and hard to avoid. Hence one has to create innovative ways to avoid them.
{Clue: Search on internet prevention of joint stress specific to your occupation}.

5 – Listen to Your Pain: This recommendation seems so obvious, yet people don’t always do it. Learning to view pain as a signal that you are overdoing it and that it’s time to rest requires conscious effort. Balancing rest and activity is optimal for healthy joints. It’s part of self-management to learn not to overuse your joints and to learn not to push past your limits. Consider that the pain is like a stop sign.

6 – Avoid Injury to Joints: Previous joint injury is recognized as a common cause of osteoarthritis. In joints burdened by improper alignment due to injury, articular cartilage wears away and osteoarthritis can begin to develop. Avoid injury if at all possible — and if you do injure a joint, seek treatment immediately.

Myths about OsteoArthritis:

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