In the last few years I had started to snore in my sleep. And, as Fasih noticed, I would wake up again and again several times at night. Many husbands sleeping next to their snoring wife might find it annoying for obvious reason. But I saw Fasih get more worried than annoyed.
The Pulmonigist in him saw it as Sleep Apnea and kept telling me ask our GP to refer me to Sleep studies here in Ontario. As usual I kept procrastinating it for one excuse or another. And he kept reminding me. Sometime scolding, sometime telling me, “Believe me it will change your life.”
Finally one day I got referred and 6 months later got a sleep test done. A week after the test the Canadian Pulmonologist called me for an urgent appointment. He told me I have moderate to severe sleep apnea and I wake up tens of times at night. This must be keeping my day lazy and sleepy as I was not sleeping well. He immediately prescribed the CPAP last September. I travelled to Karachi and Phillipines in October 2019 to Jan 2020 and enjoyed the luxury of deep sleep after years of Sleep Apnea, with CPAP.
Now I knew exactly what Fasih would say, “It will change your life.”
Fasih had started Sleep Clinic in Taj too, and he would always share “my wife’s experience” after October, with patients who wouldnt understand the important adverse effects of Sleep Apnea.
So its been a CPAP Sleep with lots of good dreams in deep sleep ever since.
But this isnt the story I wanted to share with you. The story I am going to share below needed this background.
In past 3 to 4 weeks, after i stopped sleeping with Clonazepam, the sleep part with CPAP, has been the best part of my entire 24hours. Once in sleep, life switches back to the pre- fateful Friday, 26th June 2020. Life is back to normal with normal day to day conversations with Fasih and kids. There is nothing like “he appears in the dream to convey some special message”, but life goes on as usual with sometimes us laughing, sometimes arguing, sometime just doing our own chores. Most of the times, its repeat of our old life incidents and usual conversations that happens in a family. Some conversations are clear and some forgotten after waking up.
For example, yesterday’s was the conversation that happened a million times in real life in past 30 years:
“Me: Babloo, what should I make for dinner?
Fasih: Begum aisa karo make biryani, then make paaye. Add some qorma and haleem and bihari kebabs too. *with straight face*
Me: Kya? Cant you be serious? Sorry I cant make all this.
Fasih: So why did you ask? Make what you want?
Me: Theek hai, I am making dal, chawal and bhindi ki bhujiya. Happy?
Fasih: Okay then add some Shami kebabs to it.
I knew it. So had Shami kebabs frozen in the freezer all the time.
Life in REM sleep goes on as usual with Fasih and kids around.
Most difficult part is to wake up in the morning. For many mornings, I have to shake my head to confirm which is dream and which is real life now.
I had fears in my life always, of sickness, losing job, etc. A few time I died myself in my dreams. 😀 And even recommended Fasih a few tips on what to do after I am gone. But never ever did i have a bad dream of losing Fasih in my dreams even.
Life is not fair. We had many plans in life, before one of us passed away.